Pappa wants mamma naked
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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