ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Randomize
