I hate your face
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
