Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
