good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize