ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
nutella sex= disaster
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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