At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Is it penis luge time yet?
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
