so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
