if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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