kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
