were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
