I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
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