Where did you get a picture of my penis
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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