Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
