I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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