Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Randomize
