he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
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