Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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