my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
