I will die if light touches me.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
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