Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize