so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
So much rum. So many feels.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
