i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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