I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
