Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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