I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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