just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
