Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
