you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Blood and glitter go together right?
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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