dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
