So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
