So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
