I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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