so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize