I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize
