And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
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