think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Randomize
