and next time when you feel me up, do it right
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
