the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Randomize
