I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
In America we eat man semen.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
