With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Randomize