is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
