Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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