If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
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