wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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