I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
