that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
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