I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
