I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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