when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize