Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
