What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
