I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
