i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
