I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Congratulations! We have a period
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