I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
