Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
