we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Randomize
