is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Everything about him screamed your future.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
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