Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize