Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
