Michael Bay diarrhea
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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