Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.