i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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