I'd wear matching sweaters with you
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.