I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day