Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
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I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
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I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?