no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?