Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (410): It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force. http://tfl.nu/y0by
  Replies (44) Good night (3680) Bad night (1926)
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (818): WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK http://tfl.nu/o65z
  Replies (11) Good night (643) Bad night (3647)
• Favorite

  (302): View more from Delaware

  Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (302): Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up. http://tfl.nu/hjt8
  Replies (27) Good night (6129) Bad night (1248)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (518): i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream. http://tfl.nu/w7qz
  Replies (21) Good night (3861) Bad night (712)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  Slut skills are useful in every country.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (310): Slut skills are useful in every country. http://tfl.nu/pvtq
  Replies (14) Good night (4734) Bad night (849)
• Favorite

  (708): View more from Illinois

  Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (708): Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash http://tfl.nu/zsge
  Replies (6) Good night (3488) Bad night (1108)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (330): you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do http://tfl.nu/wb06
  Replies (13) Good night (2331) Bad night (1622)
• Favorite

  (760): View more from California

  I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (760): I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window. http://tfl.nu/drwy
  Replies (3) Good night (849) Bad night (2246)
• Favorite

  (705): View more from Ontario

  What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (705): What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out. http://tfl.nu/9o89
  Replies (5) Good night (1044) Bad night (2264)
• Favorite

  (561): View more from Florida

  Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (561): Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk http://tfl.nu/69zw
  Replies (2) Good night (1866) Bad night (1300)
• Favorite

  (+61): View more from Australia

  It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+61): It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls. http://tfl.nu/jcbb
  Replies (1) Good night (1221) Bad night (576)
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (970): there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night. http://tfl.nu/aogr
  Replies (9) Good night (1620) Bad night (684)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (518): Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors. http://tfl.nu/nr6l
  Replies (2) Good night (1200) Bad night (980)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (717): I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop. http://tfl.nu/nm3k
  Replies (0) Good night (415) Bad night (588)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (402): I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it. http://tfl.nu/iuy2
  Replies (5) Good night (149) Bad night (622)

Randomize